Years ago at one of my first waiting gigs, I ran into somewhat of a sticky situation. I pretty much BS’ed my way into the job, and soon was over whelmed on what became a very busy weekend shift. The restaurant was new in town and still hadn’t settled into a calm smooth pace. What with the amount of foot traffic of a new joint, people just wanting to see the new place, and the new staff and all.
I found myself running in circles whilst still holding a table’s drink order in my little paper book. People were whizzing by back and forth, even the experienced servers. When this lady at the table with no drinks stops me and proceeds to berate me about not having drinks yet, “You haven’t gotten us our drinks, do you want me to go get them? Everybody else has drinks, they’re right in there, I’ll go get them if you can’t seem to manage it. See, she has drinks in her hands, and so does she!”. I hastily and angrily reply “Look, I’m busy, she’s busy, he’s busy,” pointing at all the waiters running to and fro ” we’re ALL busy!” throwing my hands up into the air and shaking them. “I’ll get your drinks when I can.”.
I return with drinks for six and proceed to take the table’s order under a very awkward silence of what had just taken place, knowing I had just crossed an unspoken line between customer and server. I put the table on top priority hoping that I wouldn’t lose my job for mouthing off at a customer, for it wasn’t the first time in the short time I had been working at this particular restaurant. The servers had to make their own salads which put us at a severe disadvantage time wise. But I hastily did so and stacked them up my arm in order that I could distribute them accurately and precisely.
I return to the table and dole the salads out announcing them as I set them down. Seat 6:”Italian” Seat 5:”Blue Cheese” and so on, ’til I get to seat two:”Ranch”, placing the salad down I notice the final and last salad leaving my arm and careening towards the table, “aaand Thousand Island” I announce aloud proudly. Watching in slow motion all eyes turn to the falling salad as the little cup of dressing hits the table and violently vomits Thousand Island dressing all in the bitchy drink lady’s hair and face and chest.
Just then the giant redneck at seat 4 stands up with a thrust of force to catch a cat escaping a potato sack headed for the river. Slams his hand six feet down to the table, BAMM! rattling everything in earshot( including my confidence that I’ll be leaving the building with my life in tact that night). Raising his arm and pointing….he blurts out, “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR RUNNING YOUR MOUTH” laughing with the throaty hackle and bass of a grizzled drunken Scotsman, “Maybe you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut from here on out!”. Sitting himself down I notice the rest of the table trying not to laugh, and the mouthy lady sitting quietly with her head bowed and her hands in her lap, shamed and embarrassed by the karma police of the universe.

18 thoughts on “THOUSAND ISLAND

  1. Pingback: THOUSAND ISLAND | theclocktowersunset

  2. Haha that is an awesome story! And I am so glad you told that lady off. Sometimes customers are so unreasonable with their expectations. Like they are the only people there! I’m excited you want to join the Blog Hop- to join you can either copy and paste the Idiot of the Week Blog Hop badge in your post, or just mention in the post that you are joining the Idiot of the Week Blog Hop and hyperlink it back to my site. Then you copy your link for this post, and clink on the little inlinkz frog from the bottom of my Blog Hop post, and then paste your link in the window that pops up. Let me know if it gives you any trouble!

  3. Love it when that happens – something you already wrote fits perfectly into a prompt, challenge, whatever. Great story! Reminds me of when a waitress spilled a glass of red wine on my nine-month-old’s head. Did the woman complain? Did you get a reprimand? Or did your boss think it was hilarious?

  4. A good tip – that’s even funnier. Must have come from her “friends.” Unles she’s quicker to realize things than most of us are.

  5. It was her family, I seem to recall they were having a birthday or something. Some sort of celebration. I gave them one helluva gift. It was that moment when I said Aaaaannnddd Thousand Island and everybody just watched it fall. I wonder if they still tell the story, it was like 12 years ago. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Idiot of the Week Blog Hop Open | Is Everyone an Idiot but Me?

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